I never thought the day would come when once I started promoting myself on social media I would be EXCITED about the opportunity. Just recently since I have launched this blog I have also launched a LinkedIn page and a YouTube channel. As an actor I find this to be a big step in my career and a big step towards becoming more self manageable in my social lifestyle. You never know who will see the stuff you post and some of the notifications I have gotten on my blog have really made my week and given me great vibes as a writer and as a person in general. Some who know what I have been through or they are currently going through and from friends and family who get a new perspective of me. While I am happy that my words can have an impact on others, this kind of confidence did not happen overnight.
I love that I am able to reach out to a wider audience in some way. This is something that I could not see myself doing let alone 3 or 4 years ago. When I started out in college I considered myself pretty shy and not as outgoing so trying to put my name out there not just as an actor, but a person seemed impossible at the time. It was not until I went to my first collegiate audition that something changed in me. Usually when you audition for a show, you don’t audition in front of the WHOLE department! I did 16-32 bars of Frank Sinatra’s “My Funny Valentine” with over 100 students freshman to seniors watching in Pfieffer Hall. As nervous as I was and as intimidated to perform in front of people I looked up to and envied because of their talent, the walk back to my seat was something I will never forget. Hearing all the positive reactions from friends and strangers that would later turn into my friends was only the beginning of gaining my confidence as a performer and as a person.
When I look back to that day, I think of how far I have come. Now, I’m posting videos of me singing on freaking YouTube?!
This happened a couple weeks ago at a piano bar in Chicago and normally I do not like watching or listening to myself because I am my worst critic. I don’t put it on YouTube or Facebook because I WANT to be judged, I put it up on social media because I was having fun. My hope is that when I post stuff like this is that someone can have fun watching or reading what I have to say or sing or rant… I promise I don’t do that too much!
Socializing in any situation, business or just with friends is not going to be easy all the time… Unless you’re Will Ferrell. That guy can handle any social situation you throw at him.
In time we grow as people and I now that certainly have thanks to the obstacles that have come my way and the people that I have met and given me a positive influence to continue to grow. The same can be said for me as a performer. With each passing audition and each passing show I have found more confidence in my abilities and I do not fear opening myself up to others as much as I used to. Can the fear still be there? Yes of course, it’s a logistical fear that I continue to work on and that only gets better through experience with my peers and colleagues. You can bet that when the next open mic night at that piano bar comes, I’m whipping out some Sondheim for those patrons!